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  • Writer's pictureJ.L. Whitehead

Let me tell (what you already know)

Updated: Sep 13, 2022

I’ve suffered plenty in my lifetime. Some of the suffering came from actions that I chose purposely. Others came because of circumstances that came my way. When I was in my twenties, I clearly remember walking around in shorts that was way too short, allowing myself to be seen as walking sex. I am not proud of how I behaved when I was younger.

I don’t remember every encounter with strangers that was looking for a quick sexual encounter. In many ways, I am glad that I don’t.

I’ve been missing in action for a few months because honestly, I didn’t know what I could possibly write that would help my followers heal emotionally.

You may see yourself in me. You may have done things that you are not proud of, and that’s okay. We all have.

I gave serious consideration to taking this part of my website down because I thought “what good can you present to your readers that would make their lives better?”

This is what I came up with:

I am not the hot boy anymore. I’m not young. I’m not cute. My body is slowly starting to fail me. My waistline is not 26 inches anymore.


I am wiser than I was when I was younger. I found an answer to my faith. I found a true love. I am happy…perhaps more than I’ve ever been. I’ve learned the meaning of friendship. I’ve learned that gay males can truly be my friends and not let the sex thing get in the way. I’ve learned that women can lead just as effectively if not better than a man.

The former is what I was, which was mostly superficial. The latter is lessons that hopefully we have all learned by this time in life.

The reason for “The Safe House” is to put out messages of encouragement for anyone that has endured abuse and came out on the other side. It doesn’t matter how dark the actions were that was reaped upon our bodies. What matters is how we look at things now. How are you functioning now?

Are you okay?

Or are you still drinking too much? Are you sexing too much? Are you drugging too much?

I think about this every day. Am I okay? And of course, I can say that I am. Will I have bad days in addition to the good ones. Absolutely.

But I live my truth. Hopefully, you have learned to live with yours regardless of whatever mistakes you made.

~ J.L. Whitehead

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